Thinking

Chapter 12 - THE CHOICE BEFORE ME

The trial was set for six months away.

In the meantime, I had to make decisions. Decisions no husband or father should ever have to make.

Lawyers advised me to file for divorce. To seek full custody. To pursue every financial and criminal remedy available.

But as the weeks passed, one question haunted me.

If the woman I loved—the real Lydia—had been murdered three years ago… then who was the woman sitting in a jail cell?

She had my wife’s face. My wife’s voice. She knew every memory we had shared. But she was not the woman I had married. She was the woman who had killed her. Who had stolen her life. Who had tried to kill our children.

And yet… sometimes… in the quiet moments… I caught myself remembering the way she used to smile. The way she held my hand. The way she looked at me across the breakfast table.

Was that Lydia? Or was that Vanessa?

Had I been in love with a mask all along?

I visited her in jail. Once.

She sat across from me in the visiting room. Glass between us. Handcuffs at her wrists. She looked exactly like the woman I had married. But her eyes—those cold, familiar eyes—belonged to a stranger.

She looked up. Saw me.

Her expression didn’t change.

“Adrian.”

“Vanessa.”

She flinched. Just slightly.

“You call me that now.”

“That is your name. Isn’t it?”

She looked down at her hands.

“Once it was. Once I was me. Then I became her. And after three years… sometimes I forget which one I am.”

“Why did you do it?” I asked. “Really do it? Was it just envy?”

She was silent for a long time. Then—

“I loved her,” she said quietly. “More than anything. We were one soul in two bodies. We shared everything. Every secret. Every dream. And then… she met you. And suddenly… I wasn’t first anymore. She chose you. Over me.”

“I didn’t take her from you,” I said. “She chose me. And she loved you too. You know she did.”

“Love shouldn’t have conditions,” Vanessa said. “She shouldn’t have been able to love someone else more. It shouldn’t have changed. But it did. And I couldn’t bear it.”

“So you killed her.”

“I didn’t mean to!” She leaned forward, eyes desperate. “We argued. About you. About her life. I wanted her to leave you. To come away with me. She refused. She said she loved you. And I… I lost my balance. Or maybe I pushed her. I don’t know! It happened so fast!”

She covered her face.

“And then… I looked at her. Lying there. And I realized… I could be her. I could have everything she had. And no one would ever know.”

“You buried your own sister in your place.”

“I gave her what she wanted! She always said she wanted to be free of me! Now she was! And I took her place! I thought… I thought if I became her… you would love me the same way you loved her.”

She looked at me through tear-filled eyes. Exactly like Lydia’s eyes.

“Did you?” she whispered. “Even a little? Did you ever love me—even when you thought I was her?”

I looked at the woman who had destroyed my life. Who had killed my wife. Who had tried to kill my children. Who had lied to me every single day for three years.

And I spoke the hardest truth I had ever known.

“I loved the woman I thought you were. I loved Lydia. But I never loved you, Vanessa. Not really. Because you were never truly there. You were only ever pretending.”

She stared at me. Heartbreaking. Devastated.

“And that,” I said, “is the saddest thing of all. You spent your whole life jealous of her. You took everything she had. But you never realized… you were already loved. For who you were. Not for what you had.”

Vanessa slumped back. Defeated.

“I was never enough,” she whispered.

“You were never yourself,” I said. “And that is why you lost everything.”

I stood up to leave.

“Adrian,” she called out.

I paused.

“Take care of my nieces,” she said. “Tell them… tell them their mother loved them. Tell them she was a better woman than I will ever be.”

“I will,” I said.

“And Adrian?”

“Yes?”

May you like

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For knowing. Even when I didn’t.”

I walked out. Without looking back.

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