Chapter 1: The Message I Couldn't Answer Honestly
The most painful part of being mistreated by my stepmother wasn't the way she made me carry everyone's belongings while her sons played in the water.
It was the fact that when my father texted me, asking if I was having fun, I couldn't tell him the truth without being afraid of what would happen when he came home.
My name is Lily Carter. I was nine years old, and on that hot summer afternoon, I sat beneath a yellow umbrella at a crowded water park, holding a phone with trembling fingers.
*Dad: How's my little girl enjoying the water park?*
I stared at the message.
Twenty feet away, Vanessa was floating in the pool with her sons, Jayden and Mason. She laughed as Mason splashed water into her face, then pulled him close and kissed his wet forehead.
"You're my favorite little monster!"" Vanessa announced.
"I'm your only favorite!"" Mason shouted.
Jayden splashed them both.
"Mom! He started it!""
Vanessa shrieked with laughter.
For a moment, I forgot I was supposed to be miserable.
I imagined running over to them. I imagined jumping into the pool, feeling the cold water rush over my shoulders, and hearing Vanessa call me sweetheart the way she used to before she married my dad.
Then I remembered what she'd said that morning.
You came here to carry our things.
My thumbs hovered over the keyboard.
I typed, It's fun, Dad!
I stared at the words.
Then I deleted them.
I typed, I wish you were here.
I deleted that, too.
Finally, I sent three words.
It's okay, Dad.
His reply came almost immediately.
*Dad: Just okay? What's wrong, sunshine?*
My throat tightened.
Sunshine.
That was what my mother used to call me.
Before cancer took her away when I was five, she would tuck me into bed every night and brush my hair away from my forehead.
"You're my sunshine, Lily," she'd whisper.
"And no matter how dark the world gets, you never have to earn the right to shine.""
I hadn't understood those words when I was little.
I understood them now.
Because since Dad married Vanessa, I'd begun to believe that being loved meant making myself smaller.
Asking for less.
Needing nothing.
I looked toward the pool.
Vanessa had climbed onto a giant pink flamingo float. Her emerald-green swimsuit shimmered beneath the sun, and her gold bracelet glittered whenever she lifted her hand.
"Jayden, Mason! Look at me!""
She stretched her arms wide.
"I'm the queen of the water park!""
Mason laughed so hard he nearly fell off his inflatable ring.
"You're going to tip over, Mom!""
"Impossible! Queens don't fall!""
The flamingo tipped.
Vanessa tumbled into the water with a dramatic scream.
Both boys erupted into laughter.
Even I smiled.
Then Vanessa surfaced, pushed her wet hair away from her face, and looked directly at me.
Her smile vanished.
"Lily!""
I jumped to my feet.
"Yes, ma'am?""
"Why are you sitting there with that phone? Didn't I tell you to watch our things?""
"I was just answering Dad.""
She swam toward the pool's edge.
"What did you tell him?""
I gripped the phone.
"Nothing.""
"Nothing?""
"He asked if I was having fun.""
Vanessa climbed out of the pool, water running down her legs. She grabbed a towel from the bench and wrapped it around herself.
"And what did you say?""
"That it was okay.""
Her eyes narrowed behind her sunglasses.
"You'd better not be complaining about me.""
"I'm not.""
She held out her hand.
"Give me the phone.""
My stomach dropped.
"But it's Dad's message.""
"And I'm your stepmother. Hand it over.""
I obeyed.
She read our conversation, then looked at me with a smile that made my skin prickle.
"Good. You understand that family matters stay in the family, don't you?""
I nodded.
"Good girl.""
She handed the phone back, then pointed toward the refreshment stand.
"Get the boys some more drinks. And don't waste time.""
I glanced at the pool.
"Can I swim after I get them?""
Vanessa stared at me.
Then she laughed loudly enough for a woman sitting nearby to turn her head.
"Oh, Lily. Still asking?""
My cheeks burned.
"Please?""
"Absolutely not. Someone has to keep an eye on our belongings.""
"But I've been watching them all morning.""
Vanessa leaned closer.
"And who do you think packed those bags? Who paid for this trip? Who lets you live in my house?""
I lowered my eyes.
"Your dad.""
Her expression hardened.
"Exactly. So stop acting as though you're entitled to everything my boys have.""
The woman nearby stopped pretending not to listen.
Vanessa noticed.
Instantly, her voice became sweet.
"She's such a sensitive little thing," she explained with a sympathetic laugh.
"Since losing her mother, she sometimes struggles with boundaries.""
The woman gave an uncertain smile.
"Oh, I see.""
Vanessa patted my shoulder.
"Go on, sweetheart. Get the drinks.""
I hurried away before anyone could see the tears in my eyes.
At the refreshment counter, I counted the money she'd given me twice.
Three lemonades.
One orange soda.
Two bottles of water.
I carried everything back carefully, afraid of spilling even a single drop.
Jayden snatched his lemonade.
"Finally. I'm dying of thirst!""
Mason grabbed the orange soda.
"Mine!""
Vanessa accepted her bottle of water without looking at me.
"Put the change in my handbag.""
I did.
Then I returned to the bench.
Nobody thanked me.
Nobody asked if I wanted a drink.
I sat down and watched the pool until the sun began to move behind the umbrellas.
My stomach growled.
I'd eaten two bites of toast before we left home, but Vanessa had hurried me out of the kitchen because I was taking too long.
At lunchtime, she'd ordered burgers, fries, and a fruit platter for herself and the boys.
I'd carried the food to their table.
I'd opened the ketchup packets.
I'd fetched extra napkins.
I'd even wiped up the soda Mason spilled.
When I finally asked for a burger, Vanessa had looked at me as if I'd asked for her car keys.
"Didn't you have breakfast?""
"Yes, but I'm hungry.""
"Then you should have eaten more.""
"There were only two pieces of toast.""
She sighed dramatically.
"Lily, must everything be about you?""
I stood beside the table, looking at the untouched fries.
"But there's plenty.""
Vanessa placed her burger on its wrapper.
"Do you know what your problem is?""
I shook my head.
"You've become spoiled. Your father gives you everything, and you still want more.""
Jayden glanced at me.
"Mom, can she have one of my fries?""
For one hopeful second, I looked at him.
Vanessa turned to her son and smiled.
"Of course, sweetheart. You can share whatever you like.""
Jayden held out a single fry.
I reached for it.
"Thank you.""
Vanessa caught my wrist.
"Not until you've finished your chores.""
Jayden slowly pulled his hand back.
Mason giggled.
"She has chores at a water park?""
Vanessa laughed.
"Someone has to be responsible, darling.""
Then she pointed toward the bench.
"Go.""
I went.
I ate four crackers from the bottom of my backpack and drank water from a fountain when nobody was looking.
By three o'clock, my skin felt hot, my legs ached, and the sight of the blue swimming pool made my chest hurt.
Then I saw a little girl standing beside her father.
She couldn't have been older than seven.
She wore a purple swimsuit and had two crooked ponytails. Her father was kneeling in front of her, carefully tightening the straps of her life jacket.
"Ready, princess?"" he asked.
She nodded excitedly.
"Are you going to catch me?""
"Every single time.""
"What if I fall?""
He smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Then I'll help you get back up.""
She threw her arms around his neck.
I looked away.
My father used to say things like that.
Before Vanessa.
Before the house became a place where I checked every face before speaking.
Before I learned that a kind voice could become cruel the moment Dad closed the front door.
My phone vibrated again.
*Dad: I love you, sunshine. Save me a hug when I get there.*
A tear slid down my cheek.
I quickly wiped it away.
Then I typed the words I desperately wanted to say.
Dad, please come get me.
My thumb hovered over the send button.
Behind me, Vanessa's voice cut through the noise.
"Lily Carter! What are you doing?""
I locked the screen.
"Nothing!""
She approached, her sandals slapping against the wet pavement.
"Show me your phone.""
I held it out.
She checked the screen, then looked at my face.
"Were you crying?""
"No.""
"Don't lie to me.""
I shook my head.
"I'm just tired.""
Vanessa studied me for a long moment.
Then she smiled.
"Well, you'd better wake up. We're going to the wave pool.""
Hope flickered inside me.
"The wave pool?""
"Yes. I'm taking the boys.""
She picked up her designer handbag.
"And you're coming too.""
I stood.
"Can I swim there?""
Vanessa leaned close enough that only I could hear her.
"You're going to carry the bags, watch the towels, and keep your mouth shut. If you embarrass me in front of your father tonight, you'll regret it.""
My heart began to pound.
"Why?""
Her smile disappeared.
"Because I said so.""
She walked away, calling for her sons.
I followed with the bags cutting into my fingers.
But as I passed the entrance to the wave pool, something caught my eye.
A man in a navy polo shirt was standing beside the lifeguard station.
He looked familiar.
Very familiar.
He was staring at me.
Then he looked at Vanessa.
And his expression changed.
Because the man wasn't a stranger.
May you like
He was someone who knew my father.
And judging by the way he reached for his phone, he had just witnessed something he wasn't supposed to see.
